So how am I breathing?

This is how I am breathing.

I have great friends and family who are there for me, send me flowers, call me, send treats, call me some more, praying for me.


I ate terrible for the first day that helped.

Second Day I cried all day and then some more. That felt good but at some point it just get old. Understanding that this really is happening. Not really wanting to accept it.

Third day- I had a sweet friend who called me and helped me get to the gym. Took a pump class with me.  For me that was a huge turning point. Working out always make me feel better.  Even though I haven't been able to fully move on since I am waiting for this baby to still come. Scheduled the D&C for next week but hoping that I go natural before then. So if you want to pray for something that's what I want.

I was able to see that I was going to be okay. That I can still breath. I  took a shower and got dressed.  First time since Tuesday. Had  a fun farewell party with friends. It was just what I needed. Fun to see friends and say our good bye's. We have surely loved it here but it exciting to see that we are all moving forward.

Watched a conference talk with Chris that he showed me to help bring me peace.  Loving that we had that time together. Love him more then life it self right now.

Fourth day - Read my scriptures felt comfort in God's plan. Chris was able to help me get the two older boys off to school. Huge bonus!
Blogged a ton to think about other things and wound up writing more about how I am feeling. Thinking about some of the pros more then the negatives. Tried to find some good healthy recipes to be excited about and found some awesome new blogs with incredible recipes. (Rachel Kelley, & Laura Martin) So excited about most of them. I love eating extremely health and now those food cravings are subsiding so that is really nice. My energy is coming back and the nausea is slowly going away. I hoping that my body starts to realize that it need to move on soon to. Excited to be able to have a fun summer with my kids. Thought about November and what our thanksgiving plans with be and see that they can be open kind of made me sad. It might be nice to be in Utah and with family though.  Lots of emotions and at the same time really at peace. Like this is what was meant to be. Alright off to make lunch for the boys and clean up the Lego's they have thrown all over my hall. Now I have gone for a run. Still nothing.. come on happen already. Searching for a really yummy healthy salad so no cream sauce. Any suggestions?