Tuesday and Wednesday

Tuesday I am sorry I didn't update it was just one thing I couldn't get myself to do. I was having a hard time facing that fact that Wednesday was around the corner.

Wednesday I woke up way to early after going to bed way to late hoping that if I went to bed late Wednesday might not come. Well, it still came and to be honest I am glad it did surprisingly. I did wake up at Five O'clock in anticipation of the day. Shopped on line and then gave myself a home Spa.  A great warm bubble bath, did a manicure & pedicure, and got dressed. Was that needed not to be gross but getting dressed for me has been one of the hardest tasks. Not because I don't like to cause if you know me I usually look forward to it but because it was such a reminder of what wasn't going to be. So to be able to have this cleansing time and get myself ready for the hospital was quite healing.  Chris was so awesome to get the kids ready and let me have the morning to myself to take it all in. I honestly couldn't do this with out all our talks and emotional connections. And I know he was grateful that I didn't stink anymore. Thanks for putting up with that babe!

Well, I did get to the hospital despite how much I tried not to get there. And it turned out to be a great thing. The Nurses were so considerate of me. My nurse Katie was a gem. I could just tell she felt so sincerely caring for me and this loss I was going through.  She brought me this hand made box from another nurse that makes them at the hospital for us women to have something to take home. It helped me come unglued and not be strong for a moment and I needed that.  Inside this sweet box was my angel made out of clothe all in white. Like something my Grandmother Richards would of given me from the Philippines. A gift from above in my opinion. Then also a small gold ring for a small child. Chris has promised me a gold necklace for me to put it on and I can't wait! I love it. I love that I don't have to forget this time with my baby. Which I still believe was a gift and a treasure. I have had multiple feelings this week that I will meet it in Heaven. A blessing telling me this was all part of the plan, which I have a strong testimony of. God is Merciful and Loving. I am grateful for all his love this week sent by friends and family sorry to those I still haven't gotten around to calling back but please know you haven't bothered me and that I really appreciate all your love and thoughts.

I am grateful I am able to move forward. I slept most of yesterday and took lots of medicine to relieve some of the discomfort. My stomach is quite swollen but I am doing great for the most part.

I wanted to thank everyone for watching my kids and how smooth that went yesterday. My kids were so excited and had a great time at all your homes. Thanks for the many people who offered I can't tell you how many and how much that  has meant to me. Love you all!